Your aim is clear, you know what you want.
Of course you want to have sexual intercourse with her. But that, by itself, isn’t a worthy aim. Sexual intercourse with beautiful women can be bought almost anywhere in the world, and not just from those in the trade. Promise to pay enough, employ helpers who look for suitable subjects and who talk them in, and you are likely to have as many clean sex partners as you stomach.
But sex is not enough. You want love. Or, to say it more specifically: you want her to love you, more than she ever loved anybody else, and more than she will ever love anybody else. Will it break her? Maybe, but this is not your responsibility. On the other hand, her breaking is what gives you backbone.
Do you want to love her? Not necessarily. But also: not necessarily not. But you will never forget that she will NOT be your last prey. To love her who loves you will add depth to your emotions. Let it happen. Just never forget to part before the love she feels for you will decline, as it certainly will. You want to be remembered as the love that never declined… because you left her early enough.
You also want to be the one man in her life with whom she had the best sex. Actually, that feat is easier achieved then most people may think. Just follow a few simple steps.
First, talk. The most important sex organ is the brain. To start with, you want to stimulate sexual thoughts. Obviously, there are several ways to do this. Women are usually very receptive to pornographic movies. But to invite a girl you haven’t slept with to a seedy cinema, or to play a pornographic tape when she first visits you at your place, won’t generate love. You will be perceived tasteless. You can watch pornographic movies together later in your relationship, when a bond of love already exists, but you shouldn’t from the start.
The alternative is to talk. What you say, you can fine-tune to the person and the situation. You can talk sex without talking pornography if you talk about previous relationships. To talk about your previous relationships is anyway among the most promising strategies for wining her heart. Through talking, you can also significantly lower the barriers of personal shame, a necessary step if you want her to experience the best sex she ever had.
Second, give her orgasms. Almost all women can experience orgasms, but most young women you’ll be sleeping with will never have had one before they meet you. When they are not so young anymore, a considerable number of women will have experienced orgasms, but then they usually are at an age when they won’t be of much interest to you anymore.
To give a young woman the first orgasm of her lifetime is a gratifying experience. And it’s not difficult to arrange, provided you have some patience.
After talking, kiss. Spend time kissing, first her lips, later her breasts. You can kiss her all over. And then spend a long time playing her clitoris with your tongue. Don’t believe it if she says she thinks such practices are unhygienic. And if at first she doesn’t want to let it happen, spend time reducing her barrier of shame. If you want her to experience an orgasm, especially if she never had one before, your best bet is clitoral stimulation with your tongue.
To the contrary, the physical contact from vaginal penetration is usually something that doesn’t even bring her near orgasm. The depth of the vagina doesn’t have the density of tactile nerves that is necessary for orgasmic height.
On the other hand, the sheer idea of penetration may be the strongest stimulation for her mind. It’s a complicated situation. Your talk on penetration may raise her desire, and she may be preoccupied with the idea of a very big male organ being forced into her vagina, but the physical stimulation she needs is to the outside, to the clitoral area, or to the immediate vaginal opening.
A large number of women also need physical stimulation to go on for much longer than could be expected from penetration, and it should happen at a pace faster than what a man can comfortably manage by pelvis movements. But if a couple really does want to make orgasms happen through penetration, the best bet is for the woman on the top and doing the moving.
But for her, too, it will be a tiring effort, and normally, oral sex on her should be the preferred avenue if the goal is to make her climax. Be patient, and put yourself in a comfortable position. Some women will need oral stimulation to the clitoris and the surrounding area to go on for half an hour or longer. Men often can’t understand that their female partners can be on an upward route for that long when for them themselves, a climax happens after ten or fifteen minutes the most, otherwise they’ll lose strength without having reached one.
But women are wired differently, and if she wants the oral performance to go on for an hour, well, do her the favor. Don’t blame her if she can’t climax on your first attempt. She will the next time, or the time after the next time, if only you are patient enough.
If it didn’t happen the first time, but you already had full sexual intercourse, you can talk with her about watching some blue movies the next time you’re together. Don’t say that it will be for her. Say that you yourself enjoy watching blue movies. Tell her that you think there is nothing wrong with it.
You want to be the greatest love in her life. You want to be the one man in her life of whom she believes that he really understood her, the one man, the only one, in front of whom she never felt ashamed about her own sexual fantasies.
Never condemn outright any sexual practice she may mention. She may say that this or that really is a perversion. But she may just want to test you. She may want to know whether she can risk mentioning that actually, this or that is part of her sexual fantasies.
She may also suspect that you may want to test her. If she considers you a potential marriage partner, she may want to present herself in more chaste a light than matches reality. Don’t let that happen.
Almost certainly, she will later enjoy watching blue movies, and almost certainly, it will make her climaxes stronger, or maybe even make them happen for the first time.
Third, give her the feeling that you have the best time of your life.
It seems as if many women are more concerned with giving a great time to their male partners, rather than enjoying sex themselves. And even though this may sound strange, I actually believe that it’s a legitimate approach. Actually, I share that approach.
Even though having a climax makes me feel relaxed and fine, I myself often feel better about the climax of a woman I love than I do about my ejaculation. The pleasure from my own climax is gone after not too long a time… sometimes already after 10 minutes. I’ve had memorable climaxes, but most are really run-of-the-mill. On the other hand, having helped a young woman to her first climax ever makes me feel good for hours or days. I just feel proud, and I bath myself in the idea that she probably thinks I’m an extraordinary man. It’s so good for my ego.
Why should women react differently? Though no man has ever thought with the brain of a woman, and no woman with the brain of a man (therefore making a real comparison based on own experience simply impossible), women are usually considered the less egoistic partners in sexual play.
In a relationship of love, it is more important for many women that they satisfy their partners, rather than experience satisfaction themselves. When a women knows that her own orgasms are important to the satisfaction of her man, and if at any given time, she just can’t have one, she may just simply fake one.
If you yourself are no stranger to the feeling of pride for having helped her to achieve an orgasm, you will easily understand that she may consider good sex for her what is good sex for you. Go ahead, give her the feeling that the best sex you ever had is with her. Make your own orgasms a little bit more dramatic than they actually are.
Love, of course, is a complicated game. And the science of sociology is simple in comparison to the science of love. The reason is the high degree of reflectiveness present in all relationships of love. I want what she wants what I want what she wants. My orgasms may be dramatic because it makes her feel good if I feel that my orgasms are stronger with her than with any other woman before her. But my orgasms with her are more dramatic only because I know that it makes her feel good if she feels that my orgasms are stronger with her than with any other woman before her. But then again, she may want my orgasms to appear stronger because if I make them appear stronger, it means that I care for her sufficiently to go at that length, so she feels good if I feel good if I make my orgasms feel stronger because I believe that she enjoys it more if she thinks my orgasms are stronger. Got it?
I myself am not surprised if people think that love is a rather confusing matter. It makes you run in circles. But then again, why run straight if at the end of a straight line, nothing less than a grave is awaiting you.
1 Kelli-an Lawrance and E. Sandra Byers, Sexual satisfaction in long-term heterosexual relationships: The interpersonal exchange model of sexual satisfaction, Personal Relationships Volume 2, Issue 4, pages 267 285, December 1995
2 E. Sandra Byers, Relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction: A longitudinal study of individuals in long-term relationships, Journal of Sex Research Volume 42, Issue 2, 2005
3 Susan Sprecher, Sexual satisfaction in premarital relationships: Associations with satisfaction, love, commitment, and stability, Journal of Sex Research Volume 39, Issue 3, 2002
4 Young, Michael; Denny, George; Luquis, Raffy; Young, Tamera, Correlates of sexual satisfaction in marriage , Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, Vol 7(2), 1998, 115-127.
5 E. Sandra Byers, Sexual Satisfaction within Dating Relationships: A Test of the Interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction , Journal of Social and Personal Relationships April 1998 vol. 15 no. 2 257-267
6 Feldman-Summers, Shirley; Gordon, Patricia E.; Meagher, Jeanette R., The impact of rape on sexual satisfaction. , Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Vol 88(1), Feb 1979, 101-105.
7 Linda J. Waite1 and Kara Joyner, Emotional Satisfaction and Physical Pleasure in Sexual Unions: Time Horizon, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Exclusivity , Journal of Marriage and Family Volume 63, Issue 1, pages 247 64, February 2001